this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
