im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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