Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
