I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you would pick up someone in the library
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
