What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
