I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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