I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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