Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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