Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
