You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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