Me too!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
