**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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