I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
