dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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