Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
