hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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