Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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