You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Drake has all the answers
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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