You work out of a Hotel?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
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