Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
