he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
