Cold hands, warm shart.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
