he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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