sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
