She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
