We're facebook friends in real life
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
