Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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