Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
