I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
