why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
