I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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