so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
