Have you finally orgasmed yet?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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