did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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