Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
