would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
