His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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