If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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