She said her name was "party"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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