I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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