i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
