Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
