We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
