I want to have your abortion
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
