i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
