Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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