there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
