he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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