Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
