Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
