This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
